HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
