just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize