Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
