i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize