"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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