the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
