check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
