i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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