this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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