my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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