He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize