the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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