i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
