I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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