dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
