if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
