You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
