doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
