Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
