Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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