What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
