The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
They are going to name an STD after you.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Randomize
