oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We were destined to go to rehab together
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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