Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
