remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
