I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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