I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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