I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
