Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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