Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you still have your period?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
