You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
