what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
