some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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