Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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