Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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