i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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