Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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