hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
