I wannas sexs uuuuu
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
