he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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