I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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