we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize