I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Randomize
