Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
