Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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