Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She's the barista slut.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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