Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize