I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
