I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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