Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
