then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
