mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
