Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Sorry about my life...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
