so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
