Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It's just like the Real World with babies
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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