Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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