he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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