Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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