even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
