it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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