We need to rekindle our bromance
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
