dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
