he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize