I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
