Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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