So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
