so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
