Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she told me i tasted like america
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
