how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize